This is something I have wanted to share for a very long time but I was afraid of losing some of you but I had to get this out of my soul for my healing journey.
Why I left the Catholic Church and HOW I found faith again.
(Please do not judge me)
I grew up Catholic. I was baptized, I made my communion, and my confirmation. I never knew why or understood I was just following our family tradition. After I made my confirmation we stopped going to church which was fine with me. I never understood why we went anyway. I never felt a connection with the church.
Once I started having children I followed in the same traditions. All of my children were baptized but Taylor and Tyler were the only ones to make their communion. See something happened to me at church one day.
It was a summer day, the last day of CCD for my kids that year. As a single mom I sat in the pews not able to receive communion because I was divorced. Tattoos are frowned upon so I made sure I was covered up. I felt something tap me on the shoulder, and to this day I can't explain it. I felt faint. I felt light headed. I felt everyone was staring at me and judging me. It was so weird. I started to question why am I here in church? I wanted answers. I needed answers.
I remember having the chills leaving church that day questioning why was Catholic? I called my brother, I called my stepsister, I called my mom asking them why are we Catholic? None of them could tell me.
I was balling my eyes out 😭
What in the world was happening to me?
Was i losing my mind?
That was a rough day for me.
Then all of a sudden all these things came into my head. When my son made his communion the only thing I remember is how much the church was hurting for money and they were begging for donations. I also have someone very close to me that was molested by catholic priests as a child who has never healed from it. Someone very close to me is gay which catholics frown upon, and the church frowns upon divorce. Church is supposed to be a safe place but it failed my loved one.
Why was I Catholic?
I still can't explain to you what came over me that day but my life has completely changed ever since then.
I felt so lost for a while.
I had a conversation with my children and told them what I had experienced and what was on my mind and I was going to give them a choice whatever they wanted to do I would stand by them either way.
I walked a lonely path until June 8, 2016 when my daughter broke her back and someone said WHY did God do this to her? Why does God keep punishing us? God is cruel.
I looked at her and said, GOD DIDN'T DO THIS, it happened. Life happened and Taylor is alive. We have so much to be grateful for. We are blessed.
I had my awakening.
MY FAITH WAS BACK and it was back STRONG.
It may not be back in the church but it's back in my heart and soul. I know there is a God, a higher power, whatever you believe in but I FOUND FAITH AGAIN and I feel it every single day and it feels amazing.
I can't explain to you what happened that day but I've never been more connected to the Universe than ever before.
When I was a little girl I never understood why we prayed because no one truly explained to me what we were doing, we were just being told we had to do it.
As an adult I fully understand why.
I have made meditation/prayer and journaling a part of my daily life 🙏
I have become a spiritual Goddess
It doesn't matter what religion you are, all that matters is you believe in FAITH ❤
My family and I are so very blessed and I hope you have faith because it will save you 🙏
Having faith and believing is going to help Taylor walk again 💜
I feel reborn again in a strange way 💫